Do Not Separate What God Has Joined

Marriage, love, and commitment — Divorce.

Marriage, love, and commitment

1. In a discussion about marriage and separation, Jesus recalls the idea that two people joined together form a shared life and says: “Let no human being separate what God has joined.” The biblical text reflects the family and legal structures of its time. (Matthew 19:3-9)

When asked about Moses allowing repudiation, Jesus answers that this rule existed because of the “hardness of hearts.” The passage also discusses adultery according to the customs of that period. (Matthew 19:3-9)

2. Kardec distinguishes moral principles from human laws. Civil laws change over time and from one society to another. Marriage therefore also has legal rules that vary historically.

What is considered a valid marriage, separation, or adultery under civil law has changed many times and still depends on the laws of each place. This shows that these social rules are not unchangeable.

In some historical contexts, religious marriage had legal effects; in others, civil marriage is what produces those effects. Laws exist to organize rights, duties, and the protection of people and families.

3. For Kardec, beyond social rules there is a fundamental moral principle in a union: love. A healthy relationship should be built on affection, respect, responsibility, and mutual care, including responsibilities toward children when there are any.

The work criticizes marriages entered into mainly for money, status, vanity, or social convenience when the feelings and compatibility of the people involved are ignored.

No ceremony or contract can create love by obligation. Relationships imposed or maintained only by force can produce suffering. True love is not the same as coercion, control, threats, or violence.

Thus, Kardec interprets “do not separate what God has joined” as a reference to a moral union based on love, not as an obligation to maintain any relationship regardless of its actual conditions.

4. This does not make civil law unnecessary. On the contrary, legal rules are important for organizing social relationships, responsibilities, property, protection, and rights.

Kardec believes that social changes can correct customs that turn marriage into an instrument of interest or coercion. Laws and values also evolve as understanding of people's rights and dignity grows.

The work itself asks what is more humane: forcing two incompatible people to remain bound together or allowing them to regain their freedom. This reflection is especially important when there is abuse, violence, or danger. No religious principle requires remaining in a violent situation; safety and protection come first.

Divorce

5. Kardec argues that divorce is a human law intended to legally recognize a separation that has already occurred in real life. For this reason, he does not consider it contrary to divine law.

The work understands that even Jesus' passage recognizes that separations can become necessary because of human limitations. The ideal union would be based on love; when that foundation does not exist, the situation needs to be assessed realistically and responsibly.

The text connects the stability of a union with sincere affection and criticizes relationships built on pride or self-interest. Today we also recognize that a relationship can end for many reasons and that no one should be blamed simply for needing to end a bond that is no longer healthy.

The rules cited by Jesus about repudiation, adultery, and remarriage belong to an ancient legal and social context in which women had rights very different from those of today. Kardec already observes that civil laws change over time. A contemporary reading should preserve the principle of responsibility and respect without reproducing old inequalities, violence, or punishments.